"No, Donny, these men are nihilists, there's nothing to be afraid of."

I woke up Saturday to pouring rain. Super. Another "Run Suffered Through Because You Never Know What Conditions Will Be On Race Day." Actually I don't usually mind soggy runs but this was some fierce rain. Not the happy little raindrops Portland is used to.

I managed to get halfway to the Springwater before realizing I wasn't wearing my watch. Mentally I had already decided to take it easy this weekend, so I dismissed going back for it. The first half of the run I thought about how much more enjoyable my long runs are when I'm not trying to make a time goal (during the second half, my brain was consumed with chafage). Yes they end up being longer but the run itself is much more pleasant, and I'm not beating myself up over a few seconds here and there. By 10 AM on Saturday I was positive that I was going to give up my time goals and just train to finish again. With a few days' perspective, I'm now on the fence. I was sodden and tired (and chafing) during that run – I don't want to hold myself to decisions I made while cranky. And I don't want to sell myself short.

The Race for the Roses is Sunday. My goal is to beat my PR, 1:51:something. Assuming the weather is decent enough to run a good race, it should help me figure things out. I ran the 1:51 on like, NO training. Maybe 15 easy miles a week. My training runs this year have been below that PR pace (by a hair), but leave me fatigued. I might not be a high-mileage person…maybe I run better when slacking (that'd be SWEET!).

Plans foiled already; new resolve sought

Okay, so I completely forgot about dinner with my parents tonight. I had all these plans to take a long run after work and now I have to try and squeeze in a quickie during lunch. I don't really WANT to run at lunch because a) I feel hurried and b) (vanity alert) my hair will get all unfortunate. But, if I run at a decent pace at lunch time I can do three miles easily, and then tomorrow do a nice longer run. And then? Oh, then its time to LAY ON THE COUCH and watch a movie and eat plain popcorn with nutritional yeast (because yes, yes I am going to drive to Freddies on Friday unless its not raining in which case I will stop by on my way home). (AND YES, I like nutritional yeast, thank you KATHERINE for corrupting my heretofore pure love of popcorn!!)
I'm looking at running up Tabor and doing laps around the reservoir. So, if it takes one mile to get up to the Reservoir, and one lap is .561 miles, then I could do an easy 5-miler by running up there, doing six laps, and running back. And if I run for speed, I should be able to do it in ~50 minutes. And eventually maybe 45. I don't think I have hugely unrealistic goals. Lofty maybe, ambitious, but not out of this world. I just have to stick to the plan.
Digression alert: You know here's the thing: really, its not that bad. If I can get my pace up, the runs during the week are fine, the max is 8 miles, which should take less than an hour and a half. And on the weekends, yes, you're talking hours, but whatever. It's not like you have anything better to be doing, really. Look, I know I want to do this. I want to be physically able to run 26.2 miles (in a row, dammit!), I want to have that sense of accomplishment and yes, maybe I do want the T-shirt and the medal too. And I feel like less-fit people than myself have done it. So basically, I just need to make a plan and stick to it, no excuses and no wimping out. If you know that you won't be able to run after work, you WILL get up and run before.