Update

I'm going to try some light jogging on the treadmill after work today. Fingers crossed, toes crossed, eyes crossed, etc. that my tendon cooperates. I'm actually quite nervous. I've been RICE-ing the thing religiously and haven't run in nine days. (ACK!) If it isn't feeling better today it will definitely be time to visit Dr. Awesome, aka my chiropractor. I emailed my GP (aka Dr. Useless) last week and he was (one guess) useless. I'm trying very hard to keep perspective and not freak out about skipping all these runs, but man it's hard.

I had been semi-planning on doing the Autumn Leaves 50k after Timberline. If I can start running easy again after today I might stick to that plan. But if not it seems wise to take it off the table. In any case I'll be planning a hiatus from racing for a while after this fall. (Famous last words, right?) I enjoy running, but I hate feeling nervous and fail-y when I have to skip runs, even for a good reason. It's extra stress I really don't need in my life. It's nice to have a running goal, but when it starts causing more misery than motivation its time to reevaluate.

Race weekend!

It's been too long since I raced. Glad it's here, even if it means getting up at 5 (shudder) 30 (tremble) AM (Noooooo!) on a weekend. And the Portland weather is actually going to cooperate, knock on wood: this weekend is forecast sunny with highs in the mid-60s. Of course, when we start running at 7 it will be dark and 45 degrees. Still. It's better than dark, cold, AND rainy. My friends (and fellow Newport racers-to-be) Tina and Dan are running the 5k, which starts half an hour after the half. If Tina gets near her 5k PR, she could easily be one of the top in her age group – go Tina!

I'm giving myself two rest days, as usual. It's worked for me before, and given how worn-out I've been feeling it can't hurt. I checked out the course and the aid station maps. No water belt necessary, and I'm debating whether or not to wear my watch (if I forget it again, the issue is obviously moot). I don't want to obsess about my time, so I think I might skip it. There is an 8:30/mile pace group in this race, which I'm going to join at packet pick-up. 8:30 is two seconds faster than my PR in the half, so if I can stick with them I'll PR by 26 seconds (it still counts!!), and if I feel good at the half I can try for a little negative split. It would be awesome to get something in the 1:40s but I'm going to listen to my bod and not push things too much. Particularly since my schedule has me running on Monday next week.

As much as I'm looking forward to this race, I'm also very frustrated right now. I KNOW I was on track for a PR before I got sick – I ran a 13-mile training run at 8:22 and felt dandy. The desire to PR is still extremely strong, even though I had to dramatically scale back my speed in training. I'm really trying to be positive and not beat myself up over it, but dangit, I want a PR. Oh well. The noble truth of suffering is good for my spiritual health.
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I think I need new shoes. I made the mistake of not tracking the mileage on my current Mizunos, but I'm pretty sure 500 has come and gone. I'm even thinking about running the race on Sunday in new shoes. I know, I know – bad idea. But I've been wearing the same model of shoe for three years. And it's only 13 miles, right?...

What doesn't kill me, and so on

This week's been tough. I've been dragging and feeling sick, and my legs have been aching. I barely held on for four measly miles yesterday. Today I'm going to give my gams a break and do forty minutes on the stair climber rather than run. I want to have a bearable 18 miles on Saturday. I really hope I'm just sick and not reaching my own speed limit. I felt dandy after 15 easy miles in Texas.

It's been a challenge to set goals this time around. I had such a great experience during my first marathon; I worry that all the problems I avoided in Yakima (no cramps, no stomach problems, no wall) will hunt me down in Newport. I think a key reason why that first marathon went so well was that I had no real goal except to finish. So I had no reason to push myself too hard and bonk in the higher miles. Part of me wants to face Newport the same way and just run comfortably to finish. But I also want to see what I can really do when I push myself. Then again, I want to enjoy the race and not suffer through it, and not be forced to walk at the end. Aargh. It reminds me of the second half marathon I ran last year, which I never ended up writing about: the Haulin' Aspen trail half in Bend. I finished in under two hours and came in third in my age group, both things that I am very proud of. I also pushed really hard, particularly in the last couple of miles, and felt awful for the rest of the day – and it was a LONG day. No guts, no glory, etc., but I would strongly prefer to never feel like that again.

I guess I'll wait and see how the next couple of weeks go…

T-minus two days...

48 hours from now I will be DONE! with this whole marathon thing. (yeeahhhuummm, sort of...I might have already committed to another one.) My boss & coworkers surprised me with a card and a little gifty-basket type thing full of water, Luna bars, and ibuprofen. Ah, they know me well. It was a very sweet thing to do, and I promised I would bring in my medal on Monday so they could stop by my office and genuflect. ;)

I know I complained lustily about how running had taken over my life just a few short weeks ago, but man have I missed it. (Remember, as a woman it's my prerogative to change my mind frequently and without understandable motivation.) I haven't had a long run since March 22, and that was only 15 miles! Practically nothing! I hesitate to say it but…I grew to really like the long runs. (BUT NOT THE ICE BATHS! I will never be down with those.) Getting stronger every week and conquering distances that I thought were a long way to drive is really…(okay, I have to say it, even though I hate this word) empowering. (It's been totally co-opted for PC bullshit to the point of meaninglessness – providing coffee in the break room does NOT constitute "coworker empowerment". Alright, I'm done.) For reals, though, it is awesome to know that I have this kind of dedication and follow-through in me. I decided I wanted to run a marathon. I researched, planned, and trained for it on my own. There was no one shaking me on Saturday mornings, telling me to get my butt in gear and get out the door early. I wasn't going to disappoint anyone except myself if I skipped a cold, rainy midweek run. It is very reassuring to know that I have stick-to-it-tive-ness.

And now that I'm off my high horse: tapering still sucks. To paraphrase Michelle: "I feel fat. My right ankle hurts. Are you coughing? Stay away from me! I need to get more water. Now my left shin hurts. I need to go to the bathroom AGAIN. These pants feel tight. My nose is running, is this allergies or am I getting sick? Better go wash my hands again. My side hurts, what if I pulled a muscle? I have to go to the bathroom. Did I break my shoes in enough? I have to remember to clip my toenails before I leave. Better grab some more water. What if I oversleep and miss the race? My ankle still hurts. What if I tear a contact lens marathon morning? I have to pee."
Ah, the joys of running.

Too nervous to think of a title.

Sorry for the lack of updates. The last week can be summed up thusly: tapering blows. Seriously, that's about the long and short of it. Okay, it's not ALL bad. I was almost embarrassed by all the free time I had on Saturday, needing to run only a paltry 8 miles. (Sigh…I remember back when that was my long run. Cue the "Wonder Years" theme.) But I find myself using all this free time to get nervous. I was fine until today – I woke up at 4:30 this morning and rather than roll over and go back to sleep in 2.6 seconds as I usually would, it hit me that THIS IS MARATHON WEEK (holy hand basket!). Once that thought was planted, trying to get back to sleep was a Herculean task. I actually resorted to counting sheep for gods sake.

I checked the weather up in Yakima, and at the risk of jinxing myself, I'm going out on a limb and saying I don't think weather will be an issue (cringe…knock on wood…salt over the shoulder). This whole week looks the same: partly sunny, highs in the mid-60s. Perfect! And in order to make that seem even more ideal, I ran my Saturday eight outside in the lovely Portland springtime. Here’s a timeline:
miles 1-3: overcast
mile 4: rain
mile 5: hail
mile 6: sun comes out (still hailing!)
miles 7-8: hail stops, I get uncomfortably warm and give off steam

I'm taking Friday off and driving up to Yakima around noon. I figure that will give me time to go to the expo and pick up my packet, check into the hotel, maybe drive part or all of the course, and find a paper bag to breath in. I strong-armed my friend Tina into coming with me (and that's totally a metaphor – I arm-wrestled her once and she beat me handily. She may be small, but she's stringy.). So I will have a small cheering section. :) I'm hoping to see the Back of the Packer – she is totally inspiring. I want to find whatever it is that supplies her energy and bottle it and sell it. I'd be rich!!

Note to self: I have to remember to ask for late checkout at the hotel. I want to be able to take an ice bath afterward. My feelings toward ice baths are well-documented, but damn it all, they work. Damn it.

Maybe I'll stash them in a plastic baggie...

Ran at the gym during lunch yesterday, then promptly drank too much that night. We threw a party for a retiring coworker at a local bar. (Hey, only 40 years till I'm there!) Normally I'm pretty good at sticking to one or two, but last night drinks kept appearing in my hand as if by magic. I paid for maybe one drink yet imbibed many more over the course of four hours. When I got home (I wasn't driving, don't worry) I drank a ton of water and had some toast, so this morning I felt fine.

I'm trying to stay positive for tomorrow. It's still supposed to rain all day, so I'm steeling myself. There is no way in h-e-double-hockey-sticks that I'm running 17 miles inside, so outdoors it is. I'm going to wear rain pants over my running tights, and a slicker. I have to admit that in a masochistic way I like running in the rain. Somehow rainy runs seem to go by more quickly, maybe because my brain is too much occupied thinking "what the heck is wrong with me that I’m out here in the rain while other people are huddled in front of the fire drinking coffee?" to notice that time is passing. Plus whenever you come across another runner in the rain there is that treasured nod of acknowledgement for a fellow badass. There is one hands down bummer though – no matter where you stash your tissues, they get damp. You know what I mean. It's wintertime, its cold, you're running, you get the sniffles. In dry or snowy weather you can leave them in your jacket pocket and you'll be okay. But when you're out in the rain for three hours, tissues turn into a limp, soggy mess no matter how well you try to protect them.

Singing in the rai- wait, the sleet... no, now its snow

I had an interesting run last night. I couldn’t face the treadmill, not yet, so I ran outside. I started at my house down at the base of Mt. Tabor (~200 ft. elevation) and ran up to the track around the reservoir (~530 ft.). At my house, it was raining. At 55th Ave, halfway up, it was sleeting (ouch). And at the reservoir it was snowing. The snow was beautiful, big old flakes, and it wasn't sticking so I could enjoy it without worrying about sliding around. I descended through the weather again on my way home. Very cool.

I'm scheduled for 17 miles on Saturday and its making me nervous. I will never flake on a long run, and compared to the last few weeks I'm feeling good. But its supposed to rain all day, and 17 is creeping awfully close to 20. I guess its just daunting. Plus I had a dream about it last night in which things kept coming up and I couldn't run until nearly sunset, plus I'd forgotten my water and gels. It was unpleasant – I need to have a talk with my subconscious about making me more nervous than I already am with these nighttime shenanigans.

Sidebar: I've been upping my carb eating the past few weeks. I'm a veggie-tarian but I was still on the light side when it came to starchy carbs. I eat a lot of fruit, cheese, veggies, yogurt, cheese. Cheese. But given how tired I was feeling after my long runs I decided some dietary tinkering was necessary. I'm hoping a 7:30 bedtime won't be necessary again this Saturday. I'm willing to make certain sacrifices for marathon training but going to bed at 7:30 on party night? Not acceptable.

Hoping 15 miles on Saturday won't kill me

My seven miles last night was a mixed bag. On the positive side, my hip didn't hurt at all. Excellent. My toe hurt a few times, but mildly. Good. On the negative said, my right leg hurt last night. WTF? Assuredly not good. I'm just praying that it was getting sick of compensating for a weak left leg, and that now I'm working on the left leg the right will stop complaining. Either that or I'm taking up swimming. Seriously. I pretty much told myself that I would train as long as it was fun and I wasn't hurting myself. I had and have every intention of finishing the marathon, but not at the risk of doing long-term damage to poor little legs. They're trying hard, but I have to respect that they might have limits under 26.2 miles. I don't want to...but if it comes to that I will swallow my pride and throw in the towel. Of course that will be my absolute, dead-last resort, because I have a feeling that my legs are a lot less sensitive than my ego.

My body is cashing checks my ego can't...wait...what?

I started lifting weights last year for a variety of reasons but mainly because I was developing under-arm jiggle and it scared me. I built up to a 3-days a week weight-lifting routine, which I actually enjoyed. I find lifting weights very satisfying for some reason. Anyway, now that I am running so much I've cut back to just once a week. Normally I lift weights on Sunday, so that I have Monday (a rest day) to recover. Since I ran on Sunday, I lifted on Monday, giving me no day to recover between lifting weights and running. And just to clarify, I don't do the wimpy girly weight-training where you do like 30 reps of a 10-pound weight. I do a reasonably comprehensive set of exercises at pretty much the max weight that I can, so I tend to have muscle fatigue the day after. Generally I kind of like the feeling, as it isn't painful at all, just a noticeable kind of tiredness. Makes me feel virtuous. But add that to my still-tender little legs and you get a BAD RUN. BAD BAD BAD. Did I mention my run yesterday was BAD? Ugh. I almost called it quits at mile 2, and my left hip still hurts. I'm trying to decide whether to attempt my five miles after work today or skip it as a precaution and ride the exercise bike instead. I think I will warm-up and see how I feel. I have a tendency to obsess about things - right now I'm having a very strident internal dialogue about whether skipping one little mid-week run will derail my entire dream of running a marathon. (It couldn’t, its just five miles in a training program of hundreds of miles) (Are you sure?!) (Yes. No. Yes. Well, maybe.) (What if it did?) (Well, what if I do run and I aggravate my hip and I can't train for weeks?) What if, what if, what if? Sigh. My internal self needs a good slap across the face.

Phew

I had some great luck today. I went for a run at lunch again, 5 miles this time, and I did an out and back across the river and two miles into the Springwater Corridor. It was threatening rain, and the whole time I was running I was thinking "please please please don't rain on me, please!" And guess what? It mostly didn't! It had just started as I finished by cool-down walk and returned to my building. Yay! I win!

So, as I may have mentioned, I had been planning on running according to Hal Higdon's 2nd novice training program. Which, technically, begins next week. (Eep.) After doing some more reading, I'm thinking about changing to a NY Road Runners plan. My reason for contemplating the switch is that Hal only has one run at or above 20 miles. Knowing myself, I think I would feel better prepared if I did two or three. I need to make a choice this week, clearly, since the number of very long runs sets the pace for the rest of the weekend runs. Hmmmm. Things to contemplate.

Boo!

Get Your Monster Name

(the above borrowed from Vanilla)

distance: 3.3 miles (outdoors)
total program distance: 18.3 miles
pain level: bizarre, see below
Happy Halloween! I was Axl Rose this year – it was for an 80s-themed party. The good news: everyone recognized me. The bad news: there was another Axl there! But he went for the acid-washed jeans and aviators look, while I was more "Live and Let Die"-ish. We had fun posing together. Good times. Tragically if I wore the whole get-up to work I think I'd be fired (or at least sent home for the day), so I'm not in full kilt 'n' bandanna regalia. Bummer.

I enjoyed the Marathon program last night, though I was disappointed by its brevity. Nova had so much material to cover that everything felt skimmed over, and it was really hard to get invested in the fate of the runners because they were hardly ever on camera. It could easily have been made into a much longer, multi-part documentary, maybe 4 hours or so. I mean they trained for 9 months! And it was all cut down to an hour! It took some of them five times that long just to finish the marathon. But I still enjoyed it (maybe I even cheered at the TV a little when they all finished…) and it reassured me that finishing a marathon is a reasonable goal for myself.

My run last night was about 3.3 flat miles, took me about 30 minutes with some stoplights in the mix. I really paid attention to my form while running, trying to follow the ChiRunning principles. I struggle most with relaxation – I tend to get preoccupied with keeping my head up, leaning, hitting mid-foot, and so on. And then all of a sudden I realize I've been holding my shoulders tense for two miles. It's a journey, I guess. The author advises that it will take 1-3 months to really get comfortable with the new form. So far, I think its been worth it. Last night I felt no pain at all. (Although I do wish that I had introduced the new shoes and ChiRunning independently of one another. I think that a lot of the pain reduction is from ChiRunning, but maybe the Mizunos are miraculous.) I did get a new and different feeling in my legs though: they feel kind of… weary. Like on the inside. I mean, it makes sense. The whole idea of ChiRunning is to use your core and line up your column so that it does the work and absorbs the shock rather than the relatively delicate muscles in your legs. So I'm trading muscle pain for skeletal discomfort. Now I'll take discomfort over pain any day, but I'm not sure what my run is going to be like tonight. I'm hoping that if I do a really good long warm-up I'll feel dandy.

I had something of a reversal yesterday. My legs felt great at the beginning of the run, really fresh and energetic. But by the time I headed back down the hill they were totally tight and crampy. I did a kind of modified fartlek (tee hee!) around the track, speeding up when I felt like it and then returning to my normal pace (which is still faster than I'm used to). I dunno, maybe that was too much for my first three-days-in-a-row week. I stretched really thoroughly, and I don't feel any soreness today. I hope I can keep up the pace on my five mile run this Saturday. Now that I've started running faster and not just slagging along I don't want to stop. Speed is addictive.

Before my run I'm going into town to get some new sneakers at Fit Right NW. I really like the NBs I have now, but I've also had them for years (and probably well over the recommended 500 miles) and they've started to hurt my right big toe.

Musing alert: Back in July I toyed with the idea of running the Portland marathon this year (its in October). But I didn't have enough time to train and dropped the idea. Now I've made the decision to (as various highly-compensated sports figures keep reminding me) just do it. And I really think I'm going to – I don't think this will end up the Shelf of Rebecca's Failed Big Ideas. But its funny (from a meta standpoint) to monitor the ups-and-downs of my fear/exhilaration ratio. Sometimes I read a great, positive story like this and I think "I can totally rock the marathon!" And then I read an account like this, where the runner prepared well, hydrated, was young & in good shape and still ran into big problems (no pun intended, although that's a beauty, huh?). I know that if I follow my training plan and I prepare responsibly, I will finish the marathon. Maybe not in a stellar time, but I'll finish nonetheless. Many people have done it with much less running experience than I have (I rationalize). If I can complete my long runs without feeling like death I'll be okay – mentally I know that. But there is still that nagging part of me that wonders if I've set myself up for a very public failure. If I really want to succeed, I need to purge that voice. I need to believe that I can do this, that I have the grit and will have the training to be successful.

(cue inspirational soundtrack please)

Someone has a case of the Mondays...

Actually that's not true, I feel fine (I mean, for a Monday). I got plenty of sleep last night, I was out the door on time, and I feel really vibrant and excited about this whole endeavor. I got "The Competitive Runner's Guide" out of the library and read the first few chapters on Sunday. Very informative, especially the stretching chapter. I'm definitely going to incorporate some speedwork into my training, although I'll have to plan carefully given the dearth of running tracks in this town. I told two more friends about my plan...it's getting to the point of no return!

I had a slight scare this weekend. I did a good five miles at the gym on Friday, then up Mount Tabor on Saturday morning (~3+ miles, straight up and down). I felt fine, a little bit of fatigue in the legs but I think I could've gone further if it was in the plan. Anyway, I did my cool-down and stretches and then got in the shower. I'm feeling all happy, singing to myself, and then BAM! I brought my knee down really, really, motherfucking hard against the soap holder in the shower. It hurt like hell, and when I tried to put my weight on it my whole leg was like "uh-uh, no way." I was terrified that I'd done some damage to it and iced that sucker for about an hour after I limped out of the shower. It hurt for the rest of Saturday and was sore on Sunday as well, but seems to be a lot better today, fingers crossed. It's a rest day today, but I'm going to go to the gym at lunch and take a leisurely pedal on the bike. Nothing hard, just enough to get my heart up a little. I'm sort of combining my approaches here, we'll see.

For my cross training on Sunday I lifted weights for about half an hour, then walked around downtown running errands for two hours. I got two new sports bras at Title 9, wohoo! I can't wait to try them out.

The moment of truth

I think I might have finally made up my mind to do it. Forget talking about it and thinking about it. I'm going to throw my hat in the ring. I found a marathon up in Washington in April that just looks gorgeous. It's the Yakima River Canyon Marathon, and basically the course just follows along the river at the bottom of an amazing high desert canyon. It's smallish, about 500 runners, with a good mix of fast and slow runners. As an added bonus there aren't a lot of spectators, which I think will be fine with me. That marathon is on April 5. I copied Hal Higdon's training schedule into an Excel spreadsheet and compared it to my upcoming schedule. I'd have to start following his calendar the week of December 3, meaning I have a good six weeks to work on getting my mileage up over twenty and my long run to 8+ miles. Totally doable. I might have a slight hiccup in the middle, since I'm flying back to NY end of December, but luckily the flight out is on a rest day and the flight back is at 7:20 PM, so I shouldn't have a problem fitting in a run in the AM. I am a tad concerned RE: snow at home. It hasn't been terribly snowy the past couple of years, but it easily could snow which would, of course, drive me inside. And I don't think the Vassar indoor track is open during Christmas week. Hmmm. I guess that is something to worry about closer to the date. Maybe I could find an open gym and just get a temp membership or something.